Saturday, January 24, 2009

Alone in the crowd

We got the corner seat with a good view of the DJ, the dance floor and the bar. Being the first Saturday in the New Year, Chrome, the pub, was bubbling with crowd by 10 pm with lot of eye candies.

I wasn’t too keen on hitting a pub a few hours after a day-long journey. I wanted to catch some sleep after an early dinner and a lazy stroll on the beach. But anyways, here I was. The theme of the evening being Techno, I couldn’t enjoy the music for long. My eyes strayed to check out the crowd. The bar was jammed with people waiting for their drinks while the bartenders had their hands full.

As I watched the groups engaged in animated discussions, New Year hugs and wishes, I felt like a stranger in my hometown. I didn’t know a single soul other than my family. My friends, just like me, left the city after studies. My gaze kept going back to a guy in his late 30s and probably approaching the 40 mark much sooner than he wanted. I am sure he was not too happy with his receding hairline. He was dressed more for an executive meeting than a Saturday night party in a light blue shirt and a navy blue trouser, rimless spectacles and black leather shoes. He desperately wanted to be a part of the young employees of HSBC. He laughed louder than the others, cracked a joke that turned out to be a damp squib and hugged everyone he met for the first time. He was such a misfit!

His desperate measures reminded me of a middle-aged lady in Hyderabad. While partying at a pub, she wanted to join us on the dance floor. We said yes, and she gunned for one of the guys in the group. She shooed me away with her heavy make-up, strong perfume, tights and a tacky halter neck top. Gyrating to the beats with all the "moves" she gave the oomph look to my friend. His girl friend gave up and decided to join me and so did the rest. Though I felt sorry for her, we had a good laugh looking at my friend who was put to so much unease. By the way, I spotted her a few more times at different pubs everytime with a different group. Nobody noticed when she came and went alone always.

Back to the hero of our story!

Sensing the pulse of the crowd, the DJ decided to change the music. We hit the dance floor and were having a good time. I saw the “executive” dancing too but without a company. He was with the crowd but still not one among them. After a while he opted out of the floor and contented himself by joining the onlookers.
Tired and sweating after a good half-an-hour dance, I decided to call it a day and headed home.

20 comments:

  1. This is really sad. If this is mid-life crisis, its really scary. But you know, our generation seems to be headed that way...to loneliness and misfitness!

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  2. You are right Jo. Our generation is headed that way. In fact, I met many married "individuals". They prefer hanging out with friends than with the spouse. That amazed me. Agreed that we all live a stressful life but it can't so stressful that you wouldn't want to be with you partner on the weekends. May be I am not the right person to comment on this but I cannot vouch for this pattern.

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  3. This was food for thought. I remember the first time I went to a pub. I was cursing myself for being their. If I do not enjoy certain things, it is better not to go for them than being a misfit; and the reason is only cuz I want to show-off that I belong to one of them or I have enough money to afford these stuffs.

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  4. whether you are comfortable or not is your perception, maybe the executive felt comfortable doing the things he was doing. I for one thing would have started my blog posting like this

    I was sitting in a pub and there was this girl ogling at the others, her face changed every time as if forming a opinion. She seemed to be pretending that she was above all this....

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  5. Hi there, Not sure what you meant by "comfortable". I don't think I have mentioned anywhere about my comfort or discomfiture. If you are the kinds who takes interest in human behaviour, than you are matured enough to understand if somebody is comfortable in his own skin or being forced/obiliged to behave in a certain pattern.

    Rightly said, it's perception at the end of the day. But what do you have to say about body language? Don't we outline a person by his/her talking, sitting and walking styles? Ogling...huh? lol. Whatever has given you the impression that I was eye-balling and making faces and "above all this"? Well, I can't comment on that. I guess you get judgemental about circumstances or people.

    Thanks for being candid.

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  6. you are one sporting person, I was expecting a backlash, I think I will read you blog regularly from now. You have a great attitude dude!

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  7. You misunderstand me, I did not mean your discomfort, I meant the other person's. You see body language does not necessarily mean being comfortable. His body language might be uncomfortable because he might be new to the place Just like a actor who is acting in his first movie. But he might be comfortable in his place, because he thinks that is where he has to be, he thinks this is what gives true happiness to him.

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  8. well you used words like "gyrating" "desperate" for a poor girl who was having a mid-age crisis. Maybe all she wanted was some attention. "ogling" is just a expression, like that. Maybe the girl wasn't gyrating, maybe it was just your perception. Similarly you weren't actually "ogling" maybe it was just my expression ;).

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  9. I agree. May be he is trying to make his place there, may be he is trying to get comfy in a place he wasn't familiar with but I also feel in one's attempt to make himself/herself comfortable, he/she shouldn't make other uneasy. Nobody can get comfortable with an embrace/hug firt time one meets somebody and in a place like a pub where people meet first and the last time many times.

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  10. We all have our way of making ourselves comfortable in an alien place. The "executive's" actions had made him distant himself from the crowd he was trying to be with. The lady too behaved in a similar fashion. I feel gyrating is not bad word but I mentioned "oomph" look because my friend's girlfriend couldn't take it anymore.

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  11. We could have been friends with her had it been a pleasant encounter. But we chose to ignore her when we saw her next time. I completely empathize with her coz' it's a sad situation to be in.
    It was a pleasure talking to you, my friend. I appreciate your positive criticizm. Hope to hear from you more.

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  12. All are good.Love to read more...
    Keep on writing.

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  13. quote-unquote

    "Nobody can get comfortable with an embrace/hug firt time one meets somebody and in a place like a pub where people meet first and the last time many times."

    Well so much for Munnabhai and his Jadu ki Jappi ;)

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  14. Let's wait and see if our filmy Munnabhai can do any jadu in the real life. If he does, than the executive will no longer be the odd man out:)

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  15. Knowing your clarity of thought, lucid expressions and wonderful ability to give shape your perceptions, and drawing conclusions from your blog, i'd say that the executive you saw at chrome was a lonely man, looking for self gratification. He is trying to escape from a shell he had earlier entered. I get a feeler that he is unmarried, (and probably dumped recently and on a rebound) and a "wannabe". But here is a guy who will readily enter a relationship head-on.

    You said that married people prefer to hang out with friends...... Sometimes, it is so. But a married guy/girl would not spend new year's eve alone. Anything but that.

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  16. Ashwini, I am truely impressed with your conclusions. Yes, you may be right about the guy. It is important that we need to be in touch with friends no matter if we are married or not. A reality check occassionaly is important. By "married individuals" I meant a regular pattern which I observed. I didn't quite understand by your last statement - "but a married guy/girl..." Probably you can explain that a bit more.
    PS: I have written what I observed. I need not be right:)))

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  17. When one is married, and i'm speaking about regular folks like u and me, one gets into this commitment mode. Its difficult to leave your spouse (even if he/she is a grizzly bear!!!) and spend time with a friend specially on ocassions such as these or say a birthday.... It does not do justice to the relationship...That's what we have inculcated from the system... or call me old fashioned!!! Friends are there always and i firmly believe that one can pick up the threads of friendship after long, unexplained gaps.... no questions asked. I for one have never needed to work on friendship, the way i make efforts to hold up marriage..... I guess we are going way off track here, but moral of the story is - take friends for granted- they are always around, New Year's eve or otherwise, but if you are married and intend to stay that way for a while to come, spend the occasion with your spouse.

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  18. some where ..some part of our lives,we all tend to be alone...alone in the crowd..some people are okay with it,while others cant seem to take that well...
    middle agr crisis,probably comes at an age when one knows that hes half way through life,with no real accompalishments..and no real reasons for people to turn back and look at him.It is when i guess attention problems seep in...
    feel sorry for a state like this..but if only we knew how to contend ourselves within ourselves,a day like that wouldnt come..
    dont know if m making enough sense:)

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  19. Richa, this is just an incident that I mentioned. But when you look at the larger picture of life, this is situation that most of us face at some part of our lives, as you had rightly put it. One way of overcoming it is being content, which again subjective.

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